Judgment and compassion

Opinions vary on whether I am judgmental or not. Some people - having been able to talk to me about their foibles and falls without getting embarassed, having been recipients of a patient, quieter me - think I am not. Others - partners in my thought process, witness to my strong opinions, stand on controversial areas - think I most certainly am.

At the cost of sounding a cliche, I am myself not sure. Because I dont really understand what the word judgmental means. The dictionary confuses me further. It uses the term "to judge" in its meaning and the word "judgmental" includes "to judge" in its meaning :)

Yes, I am judgmental to the extent that I form opinions, I believe in right/wrong actions and I believe that good follows right and bad follows wrong. So I judge events, actions, even words. But people? I dont judge people. I dont classify them. I dont cast them as heroes or villians and I avoid stereotyping as much as possible. I realise people are fallible and they make mistakes, stupid mistakes, terrible one even, that destroy others as much as themselves, but I also believe that it's not my lot to carry out the sentence. Whether it be as a friend, son, brother, confidant or lover, I have to do what I believe is right for me - and that usually means just being there. Because that's what they need.

Has anyone thought about WHY i am so hung up on being clear as to right/wrong, forming opinions and passing judgment left, right and centre? It is not because I perceive myself to be a moral guardian of my world. Instead, its because I realise that most of us dont really have the ability to be truly detached and unemotional enough to carry out actions just as actions, without letting a moral connotation get attached to them.

What this implies is that wrong actions invariably lead to sadness all around. Simple as that. Doing something for the wrong reasons, lying to yourself, lying to someone else - this may get us convenient results in the immediate run (and we think "oh! I am so smart, having my cake and eating it too!") but sooner or later, our guilt or the others' instincts create a cycle of events that usually lead to either pain or inner death.

I realise that I am sounding like a sanctimonious saint here, but truly I am not. I just feel very very sad when I see people going through pain, especially pain that they could have avoided. Or when I see people living lives in a clinical fashion, deriving joy as per convenience...a death I would not wish on anyone.