Becky said my eyes look tired. Which they are. So this is a random collection of thoughts and questions that are making me tired right now...
When people ask me how I am, can I just look at them and say that my heart broke? And that too for the second time in five months? And that its more than I can handle?
So many people around me are going through such severe stress and changes in their life that it hurts. Particularly as there's only so much I can do to support and help...many of the issues are completely their own.
V's comment on a closed room today made me confront the room I have locked myself into. Immersed in living from day to day, yearning for more, yet not able to create that time and space for it. Or not wanting to. Which is scarier.
The more I walk, the more I stay where I am. The more I do, the more I do of the same.
The energy, the joy, the exuberance of the first half of the year is gone. I have retreated again, a little puzzled, a little hurt, and hopefully a little wiser. To the comfort of an absorbing work life,a caring family, lovely friends and instant gratification. Keep the person inside under control.
When people ask me how I am, can I just look at them and say that my heart broke? And that too for the second time in five months? And that its more than I can handle?
So many people around me are going through such severe stress and changes in their life that it hurts. Particularly as there's only so much I can do to support and help...many of the issues are completely their own.
V's comment on a closed room today made me confront the room I have locked myself into. Immersed in living from day to day, yearning for more, yet not able to create that time and space for it. Or not wanting to. Which is scarier.
The more I walk, the more I stay where I am. The more I do, the more I do of the same.
The energy, the joy, the exuberance of the first half of the year is gone. I have retreated again, a little puzzled, a little hurt, and hopefully a little wiser. To the comfort of an absorbing work life,a caring family, lovely friends and instant gratification. Keep the person inside under control.