Corporate torpor

Didn't I just ambitiously declare my comeback last week? Only to disappear yet again? Yet another sign of how gloriously indisciplined and inconsistent I have become. And yet am I allowed to wallow in self-disgust? No. Quick and dirty is what my lifestyle demands...so all I can do is administer a few well-deserved figurative kicks to myself and come back here. Ah well...that's a topic for another day.

For now my topic is the surprisingly stable and calming nature of work presentations. Having just sat through 8 hours of presentations as part of a panel for half yearly business excellence awards, I use these words very consciously.

Stable - because ever since I gained corporate consciousness (i.e. approximately 13 years ago), I have been watching similar presentations being delivered by similar looking and similarly attired people using similar tones and words. The quality of the presentations vary widely but other than, the overall format and tone are replacable by one another...across industry, organization and geography.

Calming - because in a period of intense change, this kind of un-change calms one. You wrestle with newer technologies, with the attitudes of the young 'uns, with the moving train of expectations...and then suddenly you are in a room where you look at a schedule of presentations, surrounded by others of similarly potruding bellies and looks of self-conscious importance, and think to yourself - "ah, at least this has not changed"

And finally, Surprising...because...what the hell! Everything has changed...and I mean EVERYTHING! From the way we talk (in corporate jargon unintelligible to the layman) to the way we dress (flat fronts please, else you are a loser) to the way we type (well, we didnt type earlier) to the way we lead (consultative leadership preferably) to the way we follow (with an opinion and a sense of entitlement) to the way we think (like a child with ADD) to the way we bloody shit (with an option to the either wash or wipe).

And yet we still haven't been able to figure out a less cumbersome, time consuming, shamelessly hierarchical, borderline humiliating, template-driven way to do this kind of suff?

Unbelievable (incidentally, one of my most over-used words for a while now)

Back

Like the faint rumblings that signal an imminent visit to the nearest washroom, random thoughts, observation and pithy lines have been making their presence felt in the caverns of my mind recently. Following time honored tradition, this conglomeration of signals led to the starting up of the roller coaster, which had been lying happily (or unhappily) dormant (or sulkily silent) for the last year or so. And since I have absolutely no normal way of expressing the roller coaster - no tantrums, no crying fits, no mindless orgies, no drinking binges, no anxiety attacks, no excruciating workouts, no expensive therapy - I turn to myself and land up here.

Before the reader (i.e. the future me) takes a scared gulp in anticipation of the self-indulgent vomit that he will be forced to wade through, I must make clear my resolve to avoid going down the path of microscopic level of self dissection. What I am going to do is to just open a blank page each morning (or afternoon, or evening...not night) and just write about whatever is top of my mind. I could also dig into the recesses and finger things out.