Reactions & Relationships

I had sent the following poem to a few people who I thought would appreciate it -

some kind of power

the world is just moving towards a destination
i am staying behind sitting on my side
the tv is on, and some song is playing
the worst bit is, i want the tv off.

my world is sometimes reduced to a room
and mountains and the tigers dont exist
talking to someone new is such a crazily good thing
but it happens lesser and lesser now.

the world is starting to bore me
not because i am fast but cause it just too slow
something new has to happen soon
or i will be old

Got some reactions from them and then I of course had to comment on their reactions too!

Have got interesting responses from all - interesting not because of the variety of reaction that poetry normally evokes but due to the consistent response - that this poem struck a resonant chord with everyone. Everyone could identify with it.

If everyone can identify with the sense of all-consuming boredom/cynical humor bordering on bitterness that is expressed here (not permanently I am sure, but occasionally at least), its cause for apprehension - why should friends who would otherwise be considered intelligent, sensitive & articulate express this as a "reaction" to a poem sent on mail instead of normal modes of expression, i.e. conversation?

Conversely, conversations with friends (am I using the right word now?) become suspect. How different are they from conversations with so-called acquaintances or even strangers? Though I speak from personal experience only, but my answer to this is "hardly any difference".

Hence, is the corollary to this that relationships and the extent of their depth don't matter any more? Or is it that we don't have faith in them any more? Or maybe the latter is the cause, and the former the effect.

To go further, is this (decreasing faith in and relevance of relationships) a conscious movement on our part? Or is it an unwitting vicious cycle we have got drawn into - did the quickened pace of life necessitate junk food communication to the extent that relationships ceased to act as reliable support systems.....in turn, the fabric of conversation becoming tissue-like under the weight of the banality of the relationship itself?

Thoughts and so many questions. On this and so many other things that affect us. Do you also have them? If yes, where are they?

Low

Not sure why, have been extremely low for the past week or two......I am sure the sense of dullness and boredom is evident even at work. Part of it is due to standard people oriented reasons - Darshan, L, Vicky etc....a sense of futility and low self worth that somehow seems to get accentuated once in a while. Like this.

Even last night, after the Core party, tried a lot on my own to get myself energised....the music was good...could have danced...then sat at coffee day with a nice stephen king...spoke to mummy for a long time abt movies.....went for a long drive, with good music.....worked to some point and then it was back in the quicksand.

Have just spent the last few hours at the Flyer family day, getting more irritated with people, and even more than them, with myself. For being so unnecessarily complex and having such high standards, for thinking so much and feeling so much, or going to the other extreme and stopping the thought/emotion process altogether.

I got my horoscope for this week a few days ago (something which I usually dont check out) and it said that I will be prone to heavy mood swings this week due to movement in planetary energies. It certainly feels like that, because there is no specific cause for depression. It's just a sense of being low and being more sensitive than normal to the hits from life.