Show the middle figure to 2012.

Weighed down by the enormity of the issues that plague the world around, confused by the contrasts between my actions and what I believe my personality to be, overwhelmed by the sheer turnover of events, apprehensive about the changes to come, saddened by what I long for but cannot be, tired by the steady stream of problems to be solved, worried about my loved ones...it's so easy to slip into that inviting abyss and let the darkness take over.

But I won't. Because there's a lot to be thankful for. I am loved...and more importantly, I love. Money, health, career...yes, there are issues everywhere but I have come a long, long way from where I started. There are a lot of good people around, I just need to look into their eyes. Good books are being written, good movies are being made. No, life isn't perfect and the world around me isn't either. But, god help me, I have my brains intact and my spirit is still in fighting condition. And as long as I have that, I will survive. 2013 - bring it on. 

To heal

It's been such a chaotic year. And so heavy, within and around me. Right now, I am just muddled. And tired. And a little depressed. I want to write so much, I have so much to say, to craft into words...but don't have the energy to do it. And my trigger for that expression...well, he hasn't got that energy for me either. So I am just sitting by myself, pretending that I don't express what I am feeling. But I think I do. That's why D sensed something and is coming over. For an afternoon of entertaining images, solid food and companionable silence. Maybe that's the healing touch I need. For I am wounded. 

The death within

Written by V (as a reflection on the reality we are confronted with in the aftermath of the Delhi rape case)...


When moments broke down and time cried for help 
When the weeping reality hung its head in shame
We failed once more...
We failed once more to hold that child's hand

Once more. 
And shattered what she dreamt 
Once more we let our character fall apart 
Shattered in millions that didn't matter

We had never mattered
Never mattered to ourselves
Or our conscience
Never mattered that our lives are nothing but a shred
A shred of cold heart that beats no more
A shred of hand that hold no more
A shred of soul that died long ago

Death is not uncommon
But painful it is
When you die a thousand times
When you die for twenty minutes each day
When you shift the blame for heinous crimes
When you refuse accountability
When your collective mindset kills, disfigures or rapes a society.

You kill
You kill the hope, the trust...
The part of you that beats