Mysterious facts

(warning - the interesting title is where it stops. This post is as boring as all previous ones)

Its Sunday evening, I am pleasantly buzzed. It’s a combination of inadequate sleep last night, irregular food today, a cheerful afternoon and of course, the three (or four) drinks I had at FP in the evening.

True to the tradition of semi-autobiographical ramblings in this state, established by numerous friends and acquaintances, I hereby submit my contribution (that will be read through and assessed (and sneered at) in a more sober state of mind in a few days...or months)

Facts -

1. When it comes to people (and with me, it invariably does), I would instinctively say that I prefer long term relationships and so on. And yet so many ghosts walked with me when I went for a stroll – avijit, meet, ruchika, shefali, vicky and several more. Intense connections that somehow didn’t survive. The unlikely did survive though – sid is one example. Mystery.

2. I have never had a serious relationship, a formal date and never got drunk. More mystery. This one is simpler, though. The linkages are easy to establish

3. I get turned on by nice hands, sensitive eyes, a civilized voice and a love for rhythm. Pretty faces, hot bodies….yawn. Solid talent….yeah. Yes, I am an alien. The only mystery is how I reached here

4. I kept trying to change myself. And I thought I changed. Then I realized I had just changed at the surface and screwed myself in the bargain. So I started being myself again. Soon enough, being myself made me want to change again. But I had burnt my hand once, so I struck a bargain with myself – I will pretend to have changed but not try to convince myself any longer. Throughout this, there wasn’t that much change in my behavior so no one really had a clue to this internal madness and hence the entire mind games were pretty much redundant anyway. Its now at a stage when even I am not too sure where I stand any more. I do find it funny, unfortunately the humor just reinforces my cynicism. It also causes the disaster eve with M. 2 mysteries - why the disaster?? (answer - god help me). And why the linkage between all this "change" analysis and M?? (answer - ha...go figure)