(Its actually nice to be able to sit at night in front of the tv and pen (or type, whatever) my thoughts. I hope this will translate into more frequent posts)
Just had a nice long dinner with Shw and then Poo joined us. I was reminded of the various such long evenings that we have shared earlier…surprisingly (and thankfully) it stopped at that and I did not feel enveloped by any further feelings of nostalgic regret. Which leads me to another observation of how I am able to disconnect the different phases of the same day even if I have to transcend significant distances in terms of mood or emotion. Today I have moved from tension in the morning (about role change etc) to depression in the late afternoon n evening (mama, ppl being upset etc.) to quick maddening pace in late evening (end of week-work not complete etc.) to easy relaxation at night. And not just partly, but completely. Something I would NEVER have been able to do earlier…moods or emotions (especially of a negative variety) developed at a particular time stayed for a long time and affected all subsequent events n interactions….much to the discomfort of my close ones! One more area in which my friends had to bear with me was my finicky nature when it came to going out with people. Since coming to Bangalore, this has changed dramatically (much to the relief of some and dismay of others)…I am able to detach my personal judgment of people from my ability to get along with them. I am actually able to go out with people I may not like too much!! The trigger for this was probably quite different (something that a journey through my posts of that time may reveal) but its now quite ingrained in me, and something that continues to surprise people who meet me after a large gap – mum, unni, sidh etc.
Change was also top of the mind as I suddenly decided to go through the archives on my blog. It was interesting that in some cases I could hardly recollect “what the hell made me write that?!” and in others the emotion and thought behind it was as sharp and familiar as the smell of cooking koftas. I also respected myself a little more – I am not as shallow and unintelligent as I nowdays think I am. Good.
Musicology by Prince is playing on MTV. Cool song, very cool video. I wonder when I will stop evaluating music in terms of visuals. When will this change?
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