My obsession with chemistry is starting to sound irritating even to my own ears! Yet this is one word that I find most convenient to use whenever people and relationships enter mindspace, and they do so often.
Whats chemistry? Is it instinctive or developed or can it be both? what constitutes chemistry? what role does it have in founding a good relationship?...all these and many more questions abound to which I continue the quest for answers. When I find them, I shall hopefully write a book and publish it with hoopla. For all the heartburn that this subject has brought me, the least I can do is make some money out of it!
For now, the question uppermost in my mind on the dual nature of chemistry. How chemistry can not just create connections but also cause explosions which in turn derail a relationship or rather never let a relationship to develop. We see variations of this theme in books and movies all the time - ranging from M&Bs to Pride & Prejudice. But the story usually pans out in the positive - the lead characters start by hating each other, indulge in battle of wits n words, start developing a sneaking admiration for each other when they discover they are alike in a lot of ways, fall in love, convert their hate into attraction, fall in love and live happily ever after.
No such luck in real life as far as I can see! It usually appears to work in the opposite direction - people with great chemistry that gets converted to negative energy.
What this translates into for me is tremendous frustration....how difficult it is to find someone who you just instinctively hit it off with, who you somehow connect with....and then how irritating it is to discover that this electricity between you is going to set off sparks totally non-conducive to a relationship (couldn't resist the dramatization...in fact, the subject practically demands it).
I see this in relationships around me - people with great connection with no relationship. Or worse still - people with great connection, madly in love, and bad relationships. For me, off the cuff there are 3 cases....Skr (great chemistry, relationship took off then crashed and now limps along)....Shl (good chemistry, relationship took off, stabilised)....and now M (good chemistry, relationship crashed while taking off).
Very frustrating - 2 good people...intelligent, smart, funny, nice....when they get together, they cant stop talking....yet they are ALWAYS on the wrong side of each other.....and then its The End.
why, God, why????!!!!!
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