3 conversations of depth. With a boss (M, 39), new friend (F, 30), and a relatively older friend (M, 31). They ranged across the widest of personal topics imaginable - career decisions, drivers of life's principles, relationship foundations, self flagellation, self love, romance and its relevance, peace, success factors and so on. They forced me to turn myself inside out and examine crevisses of facts that look entirely different under a different light. And they turn my thoughts beyond just the content, in another direction as well....
What significance do these conversations have in my life? Its not just about the conversations, is it....its about the people connect that over time has become more and more integral to my life. As I increasingly feel cocooned, I let myself (in fact, seek to) be pushed by people out of comfort zones. People across ages, backgrounds, orientation, lifestyles, and maybe even character (though I would not like to believe that). These conversations are just mediums of connecting to life experiences....the comfort of connect, thrill of exploration, the joy of commonalities, the wonderment at the spectrums, the sly inward glances; followed always by serious thought, many questions, some conclusions, and sometimes even emotion.
This is all fine and logical, but takes me to a more disturbing place of thought - for all my stated aversion to objectifying people or getting objectifyed by people, am I tolerating subtler (and hence more dangerous) versions of the same, from others and within myself? As I look around, we seem to have started reducing even people to tick marks in a checklist. The way I react to someone who goes through the "degree/car/job/wife/washing machine/onsite assignment" list, I should probably react the same way to someone who goes through the "drinking buddy/trophy case-wife/piggy bank-husband/soul confidante-best friend/bitching colleague/bed mate - girl-boy friend" list as well! I accept that we have our needs and different elements of our life fulfil those needs, and that would include people as well. But there's a line, not a fine one but an entire fence, between letting people fill voids in our life and actually slotting them conveniently. Even the thought angers me - what sobers me is the thought that even I may end up doing this if I don't look out. And what about the ones in my life who I see doing or going towards the same, usually with others and, horror of horrors, even with me?! I think I will use my new found mantra "respond, not react" and go ahead and drive my messages over time. If the messages are taken and actioned, its a vindication that my choices in life are thinking, genuine individuals (ha ha ha ha ha!!!!). If they are not, parting may not be such sweet sorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment