Ramblings

This is Friday night of undoubtedly one of the worst weeks ever (work wise)...hectic workschedules, a hyper boss, a sarcastic super boss, lack of sleep, and bad eating habits, and absence of support systems like unni....all contributed.
As i am too exhausted, will just post extracts from one or two mails I wrote this week:

"This week is getting steadily worse.....yesterday, I nearly blew up at my hysterical boss......am giving it one more chance today....am really in a mood to just blow up, but i keep calming myself down......the worst part is, nothing I do is appreciated....for so many weeks, I was wracked with so many questions n self - doubt, to which I had no answers....and hence spent many days in agony........but yest, after 2/3 harsh incidents, came to the conclusion that I cant blame myself for everything.....

As it is, I am hardly communicating nowdays (except with you)......thank god i am not married etc, else I wld really have a real problem on my hands! I dont think I am made for marriage....for one, I want to do too many things in life and dont want to be constantly taking into consideration a "life partner", neither am i the type of person who wld just go ahead and live the way i want to, let the relatioship suffer.......i believe in making things work, and that goes for relationships......if I put it in typical "office style" terms - I dont have the bandwidth to take on critical things....I dont believe in doing things for the sake of doing it, and I wont take on things I cant do justice to"

"i am so sleepy.....left at 12 last night and came back at 9.....but whats the piont of working hard if it is still thought that i dont? I might as well prove them right. but somehow, am unable to bring myself to reach that point. my tenure here is a struggle to hold on to my sense of self, and the values n beliefs I have. I think thats essentially the struggle of life. I hope I hv been successful so far. I hope I wl continue to be."

Whats to look forward to? MOVIES!!!! 4 of them.......hallelujah!