Am so bloody low today its not funny.
As usual, it is not pure tension or pain which makes me low, rather it is the swirling cloud of grey in my head that causes irritation/anger/depression/loneliness in more or less equal measures.
Words that keep coming back -
girish....trust...respect.....shift timings....life....full stops....competence....adjustments.....reactions...options....
What I want to do (need to do) is to just curl up quietly with no expression on my face...watch a mindless movie or read a mindless magazine, and maybe think.
Instead, what I have to do is to have lunch with super-boss in a group, be pleasant and amicable...meet my new boss...be energetic and intelligent looking....work on my presentation...present the stuff tonite in front of the whole management, all the while keeping up a confident, intelligent exterior.
Fuck.
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